He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
