My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
