We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
