i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Randomize
