Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
