Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
