I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
tell me about the fingering
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
