when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
