So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
