i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
