big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
