He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
