Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
