Porn is love you can see.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
