The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
