good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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