Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
