Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
