people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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