We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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