My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
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