Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
