Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
