Don't you send me to vm
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
they call him Oral-B. enough said
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
