I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Drake has all the answers
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
