She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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