What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
