Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
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