You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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