My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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