I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
my sisters under your porch take her home
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
