ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
