Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
