I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
