She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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