all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Damn victory sex feels great
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
