I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize
