You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I think people are normalizing furries
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
