I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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