Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
