I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
