i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
