just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Don't make out with my wife yet
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
