Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
