the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
