Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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