Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
