dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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