the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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