i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
