Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
