just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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