Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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